Greetings in the New Year!

Ok, it’s been a while, but technically Chinese New Year is still in process!  Gung hay fat choy….let this year of the Dragon breath fire into you life!

Rounds 1-4 of chemo are done!  Let’s recap.  Days after Thanksgiving I started with the A/C cocktail and it went pretty well the first two times.  3rd infusion was the worst and number 4 wasn’t much better.  The shot of Neulasta the day after the infusion was probably the part I dreaded the most!  The last one was the least painful thank goodness : )  I have to thank everyone who has taken, picked me up, or just visited during the infusion.  The hospital has become a dreaded pit in my stomach.  Sensitivity to smell has been the worst side effect.  I’m tired a lot too, but I’m kept quite comfortable on the couch with a roaring fire, blankets, and you know who to keep me company!

I could go on and on with little details but lets just say that I will be SUPER relieved when the the next 3 months is over!  I start my next batch of chemo on Tuesday the 31st and if all goes smoothly I will be done on April 17th.  Just in time to recouperate a bit before the kids are out of school.  I plan on having a fabulous summer with them this year.  We deserve it!

FYI, I did lose all my hair and I’m running around shiny headed for the most part, however, the cold weather has kept me wearing lots of fabulous hats.  For those of you that were involved in the betting pool…..it was exactly 14 days after the first infusion that it started falling out!  Handfuls in the shower, then more handfuls on my clothes, couch, and pillow…..  Spent two days looking like Alex’s twin with a great buzz job and a #3 guard.  Then it was on to the bare clippers followed by Creamy Gillette and a cold razor!  Megan is one taleneted and brave woman.  Not one nick and I must say I looked fabulous through each stage of hair loss thanks to her.

Also a HUGE thanks to everyone who has sent me messages of encouragment, brought fabulous dinners and thoughtful gifts, provided rides for the boys, ran errands, walked the dogs, or just sent positive juju my way.

I hope to post more often to keep everyone up to date.  The Words With Friends has kept me busy but the the Scramble With Friends has me sucked into a black hole!  Between all my gaming, the boys activities, end of year duties with the business, and the general malaise, I’ve had a hard time posting.  No more excueses…they may just be a short blurb with “HEY…I’M STILL ALIVE!”

My loving husband braved the cold head.....for obvious reasons he's grown it back already!

Easy access.

This morning was the first step in my chemo journey. I went to the vascular imaging office where I had a port-a-cath inserted under my skin. It’s a cool little device that has a hard reservoir with a catheter that releases straight to a vein near the heart. The nurse will mix up a batch of my magic cocktail, insert a needle into the reservoir and the toxic liquid will feed through the tube directly to a vein near the strongly beating heart. Please Pass GO and collect your $100.00

This handy device will ensure the the chemo drugs are distributed most efficiently throughout my body without having to ruin any veins or other tissue. Blood can be drawn from port too – so no more needle poking! Woo hoo!

The procedure was quick and easy which was nice after the previous two body invasions. Tomorrow I go to the hospital for an EKG where they’ll make sure my heart is strong enough to take certain drugs in the therapy. I will most likely start actual chemo administration the week after Thanksgiving. My family plans to spend the week enjoying ourselves! Gorging, drinking heavily, playing games, cleaning up after the dogs, doing laundry, etc…. ; ) Stop by or throw me a word if you get the chance!

I hope you are spending the day with friends and/or family and giving thanks for all that is good in your life.

Here we go….

And before you know it, your calendar is full for the next six months!  Isn’t that how it feels at the beginning of summer vacation, the Holiday party season starting the day after Thanksgiving, and especially when your oncologist gives you your upcoming chemo regiment.

It’s really not as much fun as the two previous examples but it is what’s on the agenda for the Lidster Family starting next week.  Our lives, at least mine and Scott’s, will be filled with MD appointments, chemo sessions, rest and recovery, etc…. The boys will be occupied with school, homework, housework, tennis, soccer, and hopefully snowboarding when the season starts.

Yes, the mastectomy was very successful in ridding my breast of cancer, but not necessarily my entire body.  Cancer is a tricky beast.  Mine happened to be an extremely aggressive and ugly one to boot.  After meeting with Dr. Figueroa on Friday, it was revealed to me that the pathology report not only shows WHERE the cancer is or isn’t, but also WHAT the cancer is or isn’t.

A.  Not in breast or lymph nodes, margins clear, 1.5 cm, therefore small and Stage I. (Yeah!)

B.  Not a perfect candidate for hormone therapy alone, 9 out of 9 on the cancer Richter scale of badness.  (Boo!)

Which makes it difficult to answer the question of WHERE it ISN’T very difficult.  To lower the probability of it showing up within the next ten years anywhere in my body, both hormone and chemo therapies are highly recommended.  Because that’s the tricky part, it’s anyone’s guess, even the well educated, as to where it may rear it’s ugliness the next time around.  And highly recommended is really the key here.  My statistical feedback shows my non recurrence rate to be 67% without any therapy at all.  Not bad, but not great.  Only to reduce by 11% with hormone treatment alone, 17% with only chemo, but by a whopping 23% with the combined therapy.  That means that 90 out of 100 will remain cancer free over the next ten years after following this treatment plan.  Those are damned good odds.  I will play that slot machine all day long.

As for my current recovery status, I can honestly say that the pain is nothing more than irritating.  Tender, sore and sensitive better describes the state of my reconstruction.  I’m tired more than I’d like to be but have been allowing myself to slow down and accept the generosity of my loving friends and family.  I did catch a crappy cold from somewhere that has been a pain but nothing too bad.  Mentally I feel pretty strong knowing that the odds at the end of the therapy are so favorable that I can really have some peace of mind about any recurrence.  I know it’s not going to be easy.  Not just for me but for my husband and boys and that’s the hardest part to accept.  But after the past month of events I know that they are very strong and will be even stronger and maybe even a bit softer after it’s behind us.

I’m looking forward to the warm fires, snuggling with Thor under my warm blankets and playing WWF with all my worthy adversaries!  I even plan to get back to knitting since those dreadful drains are gone!  I’ll still welcome visits from friends and family and I look forward to more delicious meals which have been so very much appreciated.

BTW, when you see me with a new hairdo, please don’t mistake me for that short Lidster boy that must be adopted!  I can’t wait til we all get our hair buzzed with a number 3 on the top and 2 on the sides!

P.S.  I’m not a physician and I don’t play one on TV.  I may not have explained things perfectly, but I’m pretty sure the facts are clear in my head and that’s what counts.  I’m also not oblivious to the seriousness of chemotherapy and all it’s side effects and there will be some really shitty times ahead for me.  I do know that a positive attitude goes a long way and has served me well thus far.  I can only hope that in the end no one has to bail me out of jail because the neighbors found me growing acres of pot plants in my backyard without a proper prescription!  That’s just some Shasta County Humor!!!  I hope I won’t be needing any “Special Prescriptions”.  I could stand to lose 5-10 pounds anyway!

 

 

 

What’s a little pain?

To my friends, family, and adoring fans…I found out this week that I’m not superhuman after all. Cancer-free yes, but definitely not immune to pain. Last week’s mastectomy was a huge success on many levels. It was probably the calmest procedure I have ever been involved in, including child bearing, mole removals, and hang nail snipping. The stars were aligned and I had the very best surgical team working on me in the OR and countless good vibrations sent my way from around the world. Recovery seemed to be unbelievably simple and I was living on pure adrenaline from the positive news of negative nodes!

A few gatherings and visits with loved ones later, Megan warned me that I had better act a little more sick or the food wagon and friendly visits might slow down since I was feeling so well! Monday morning came and by the afternoon I didn’t have to act at feeling a little more than sick. I felt downright miserable. I had been anticipating more pain to be involved in the reconstruction surgery, since the procedure included cutting through muscle, inserting a tissue expander and stretching muscle and skin to it’s max. However, I wasn’t as prepared for the affects of anesthesia twice in one week, burning sensations from nerve damage, or the feeling of crushed ribs from the expander. Plus the added little problems like canker sores, tape burned skin and the town favorite ….constipation!!!! (Thanks to Pspink for the awesome recommendation of Miralax!)

Wow, sounds like HELL huh? In reality, it’s nothing at all to bear considering what COULD have been. I’m thankful everyday that these little pains will be behind me shortly and I will be able to go about my days with a lighter step. The most overwhelming feeling I’ve experienced over the past two weeks is gratitude for all of my friends and family for generosity of time, food, support, and love. I am one lucky girl. I can only hope that I’m able to return the kindness to the masses when it’s most needed.

Although this week has had it rough spots, I am especially grateful to my baby sister a Jodi. She came up from Elk Grove to spend the whole week tending to her infirmed sister, along with the typical teenage nephews, boisterous brother-in-law, and rambunctious and sometimes naughty dogs! She has been a tremendous help and I will always cherish our time we’ve had this week. Our mom has always said I spoiled Jodi when we were little but I think after this week there is no doubt about who was doing the spoiling. You are awesome Jo!

I seem to feel better everyday, even though today was a little rough, but overall I’m healing well and even had my first injection into the expander yesterday. I won’t be lopsided for long ; ). Please keep sending the positive vibes my way and don’t hesitate to text, call, stop by or just play WWF!

Good Riddance and Good News

I know that most of you know the latest news about Angie but I thought I would fill in a few details for you tonight. After the beautiful, heartfelt post Angie wrote this morning, this post will pale in comparison. Angie underwent surgery pretty much on time today. I think that they wheeled her back to the operating room around 2:45pm. I feel fairly certain that Angie will tell you a couple things about the long wait: 1). Waiting until 2:45pm to have surgery means many, many daylight hours to contemplate how hungry you are getting. 2). Spending hours in the Mercy Pass Unit before surgery allows you to marvel at some Redding’s finest citizens who are also awaiting their surgical procedures. I think that Angie and Scott were particularly enthralled with the gentleman next to them that sounded drunk at 2pm in the afternoon and confessed to his nurse that he drinks 4 quarts of beer a day. Now, I don’t know about most of you – but I do not measure my alcohol intake by the QUART! Impressive, to say the least. Anyhow, at 4:45pm Dr. Philben came into the waiting room and informed Scott that the surgery had gone very smoothly. They removed 2 sentinel nodes – those were tested immediately and found to be clear of cancer. The final pathology report will come in on Friday but certainly the initial results are extremely promising. Only after listening to Dr. Philben fill Scott in on the news did I realize how much stress I had been doing my best to ignore as the surgery date loomed closer. The sense of relief upon hearing this initial report was fairly liberating. I think Scott said it best when he said something to the effect of “I didn’t realize how good it would feel to hear that!”. Anyhow, assuming everything goes well tonight and tomorrow morning for Angie, the plan is to discharge her from the hospital tomorrow (Thursday). Then again after I saw her palatial private room with a huge bathroom, I suppose it’s possible that Angie will ask to stay an extra night. So I say “good riddance” to my friend’s right breast that was harboring that nasty, cancerous lump – I will not miss you. I’m also pleased to be able to share the “good news” that thus far, all of the results are very good. I know that we all share a deep sense of relief and gratitude, as well as hope, that the cancer is vanquished for good.

Girl With Friends

Tick tock counting down minutes on the clock…. The waaay aaayyting is the hardest part! Sing it Tom Petty. 2:15 is the scheduled procedure time but nothing is certain when your time slot is so late in the day and surgeries have complications. However, I’m feeling pretty confident that Dr. Philben will be prompt since the injected contrast has a limited lifespan and she is known to get her way in the O.R. To me that’s a good thing – being the one on the table and all!

Here is a glimse of how I plan to spend the next week or so…. Relaxing on the sofa or bed wrapped in the most gorgeous hand knit blanket made lovingly by my knitting friends, propped up on Celine’s princess pillow, admiring my pampered toes, playing WWF on my awesome iPad, while wearing my inspiring bracelet and being waited on by my devoted husband, wonderful childeren, loving Mom and family. And of course being served delicious food made by wonderful loyal friends. Doesn’t sound bad huh?

Thor loves the blanket too!

Aside from any material gifts I’ve been graciously bestowed over the last few weeks, I can’t come close to being able to express all the gratitude I feel from the support and love I’ve been given. Thanks to everyone for the positive energy you’ve sent. I know it’s kept me sane and grounded. Having cancer may be a crappy thing in my life, but in a few short hours it’s going to banished from my boob FOREVER and I will still be left with my truly awesome circle of friends and family surrounding me. Please don’t hesitate to call, text, play WWF, bring food, or just come by to visit me in the weeks to come.

I can’t wait to get rid of this bump on my breast and get on with my journey….

Namaste

Scott’s Favorite Things

I’ve been told that the photo that acts as the blog header has generated some buzz among some of Angie’s friends. Seeing as how I designed this blog for Angie and am the person responsible for including the photo, I thought I would explain the picture a bit. The banner photo is taken from a picture I took of Angie 5 years ago at the lake.

I brought a new digital camera to the lake and took the picture of Angie. Soon after I took the picture I remember forwarding it to Scott and telling him I had captured some of his favorite things – rumor has it he likes Heineken (among other things). It’s possible that before sending it to Scott, that I cropped Angie’s head out of the picture…I’m funny like that. Anyhow, I remember Angie telling me that after Scott received the picture he used it as his computer desktop background for a long time – that always made us laugh.

Anyhow, when I was setting up the blog there was a spot for a photo as the header. I’ve taken a fair amount of digital pictures over the years, so I started going through them looking for something that would have some meaning for Angie and her blog audience. When I stumbled across the original picture I giggled to myself. I included it mainly to give Angie a good laugh when she got a look at her blog for the very first time. I really wasn’t sure that she would want to keep the photo on there. However, Angie thought it was perfect for this forum and I was pleased.

So that’s the story. Yes, those are Angie’s boobs. No, this isn’t a Heineken advertisement. It’s just a picture of someone’s breasts (and their beer). Breasts really don’t define a person…they really don’t tell you much about individual…and really, we don’t need them. But we can laugh about them… and that is fun.

May I please have a word…..

Let me start by saying that this game, Words With Friends (WWF), is ADDICTING! It’s been five days of constant checking of the techno device to see if my opponent has made their move. Can I counter with something better? How many points am I behind or, ahem Megan, ahead? Well all I can say is that it’s been a great distraction. And right now that’s what I’m so grateful for. Because patience is the hardest thing for all patients to learn. In the beginning I tried to be patient with slow test results, unreturned phone calls, and even rudeness by people who are supposed to be professionals. Then, when all the dust finally settled and a diagnosis was made with a reasonably positive game plan intact to rid me of the Cancer, yes people, that’s what it is; I had to learn to be a truly patient patient.

Thor Almighty!

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of being treated, by a wonderful family friend, to a relaxing session of alignment, adjustment and manipulations. My hope was to prepare my body and mind for the upcoming surgery and weeks of recovery which will involve lots of sleep, reading, playing games, (thanks to all those new WWF challengers!), eating, and cuddling with my 40th Birthday present from Scott.

For those of you that haven’t met him, this is THOR! AKA, Kai Doi, Rag Mop, Bushka Bear and even BAD DOG!!!! He answers to none of those names unless I’m the one calling him. Then he comes a-runnin to lavish me with love and enthusiasm. I guess you could say we’re kind of attached!

Anyway, my treatment was going along just as I’d hoped, until the family’s pet bird flew on my belly and decided to pay me a visit. Now I’ve been over to this house many times over the last couple of years but never had much interaction with the bird. She is an 18 year old sun conure who answers to the name of Cuervo. Let’s just say that I’ve never been much of a bird lover. We’ve had quite a menagerie living at our house over the years and that even included chickens! They lived outside and had names and individual personalities just like the rest. I wouldn’t say they were only egg providers, but we weren’t very emotionally connected to the birds, they truly have brains the size of a pea!

Cuervo however, has her own personality, expressions, and may even posses a magical sixth sense. She marched her way up my torso to stand right on my breast and hovered over the retched tumor. She hopped, bobbed, danced and rubbed her beak and head over the spot for about 20 minutes and didn’t stray. She did once walk over to the other side, took a look around, and went straight back to the area to continue her exorcism of the badness with mucho gusto! This was all going on while Dr. P. was working his magic too! If I wasn’t the one laying on the table I’d still be skeptical! Never would I have guessed that the little bird would make me feel such affection towards her and believe in her healing powers!

Sorry! Couldn't rotate picture!

I’ve always wondered at the ability of animals to sense natural disasters and sometimes illnesses before they happen or are detected. It does seem that both my dogs make me feel like they are being really gentle and caring around me lately. Of course that could be because I feed them and give them lots of treats. No matter – just remember to love your pets because you never know when you might need them to help you through some crazy times! I must admit that in the weeks to come I am looking forward to relaxing and snuggling with my adorable pooch and letting him work his puppy power! Good old Jasper will be bedside too, lending a soothing sigh.

P.S. The restorative alignment session was fabulous too!

Número UNO!

Welcome! Thanks for coming. Fasten your seat belts and enjoy the ride!

Before I start rambling on about trivial stuff, let’s get the dates and facts out there. I’m having a mastectomy on my right side on Wednesday, October 19th. I will be at Mercy Medical Center for one day (hopefully). Then released home to recover. The pathology reports come back on Friday when we will know more about what’s next but I’m really optimistic that that’s gonna be it! Just one ti….er um well, you understand.

Today I’m celebrating – I beat Megan at a game! Okay so it wasn’t a true physical sporting game, because I wouldn’t even attempt to take on that challenge, but it was a game nonetheless….it was the techno version of Scrabble. An app called WORDS with Friends! And not only did I win once, but twice. Uh huh. Twice. That was a first for me! It may not ever happen again, but she should remember that I am Asian and come from a long line of gamers! I welcome all of you to download the app for free on your phones, computers, or tablets. I would love to be entertained while my right arm lays dormant for a couple of weeks!

Gotta go…it’s my turn!